"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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