It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
