i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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