we have officially lost it.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
