I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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