this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize