the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize