dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
His nipple licking is glorious
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
