If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
