i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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