Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
