Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
