thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
