a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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