i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
