she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize