i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
