WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
