im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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