return my video game
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
