I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
