i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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