she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
