Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
