i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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