Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
