dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
