If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
