the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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