We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
