Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
