I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
