Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
