loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize