Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
