weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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