New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
