This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
