you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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