We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
