Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize