hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
