If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
