I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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