508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize