So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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