p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
