even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
