he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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