so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
