I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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