I want to walk on stilts...naked
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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