So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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