i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
