marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
did you just send me my own nude
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
