No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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