we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
