Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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