You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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