Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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