So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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