U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
